Monday, 10 June 2013

Phone Numbers


I know three phone numbers. What I mean is that I only know three phone numbers from memory, the rest of my friends and family are on a list at home or in the contact list on my cell phone. The three numbers that I know are my cell, my home number and my buddy Ken’s number. The only reason that I know Ken’s number is that there weren’t any more programmable buttons on the kitchen phone.

I could probably dredge up Louise’s cell number if I had to, but since her phone is either buried too deep in her purse to be heard or the battery is dead, it wouldn’t do any good anyways. I think I can come up with Arwen’s number too, but that is her home number, so she often can’t find the hand set, she screens calls from me or she is so busy that she’s rarely home. Whatever the reason it would be useless to call her.

Sure, I know the 911 emergency number, but they don’t want you to call just for a chat. Mind you, there must be down times for them when they are just sitting around taking bets on whether the next call will be a house fire, a stabbing, a heart attack or just some dingbat playing pocket pool. I’m sure they would appreciate a call every now and then saying that you thought they are doing a hell of a job and that they definitely deserve a raise. If you do this, they will get well earned kudos and they will have a personal connection with you which can’t hurt if you are ever in need of emergency help. Maybe I’ll give them a “How do you do?” tomorrow morning.

I know the 311 number, but have rarely called it. The 311 number is to contact the city if someone doesn’t shovel their side walk or cut their lawn. It is also useful to report large pot holes in the road, get answers to civic questions you might have and to ask if they are going to do the street sweeping sometime before the first snow. The problem I have with 311 is that I kind of feel like a bad neighbour if I call in to report someone who is being a bad neighbour. Weird.

I know 411, but since the advent of Google and all of the other search engines, it is just easier to look information up myself. I guess people with the new iPhones can just ask the phone whatever they need to know and they will get an answer right away.

You know, I do know another one. It is from radio commercials for Pizza 73. Their number is 273-7373, how could I forget that.

There was a time when I could remember all of my friend’s numbers, work numbers, family numbers and the odd number of random businesses. I don’t know if it is my mind getting weaker or stronger. Why bother with the trivial when I can fill my mind with the riddles of the universe? I don’t, but I could. I used to be pretty fast with the old rotary dial phones too, but with the touch screens, I don’t think I have dialled a number without making a mistake yet.


Maybe I should try to memorize some important family numbers just in case I have a public health issue and the EMT’s ask me for a number so they can contact a family member. I’d be screwed, ending up in some public hospital ward diagnosed with a head injury.

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