Saturday 29 June 2013

A Guys Got to Have a Hobby

This is the first real hot day of the summer. Well, I think it is a pretty hot day. I put the fans in the window to blow cool air into the house and the first thing tomorrow morning, the AC is going in the window. We are also going to see about getting a small one for the bedroom window. It isn’t hot compared to places like Las Vegas where it is going up to 48° C or somewhere Louise told me about in BC where it is going up to 42° C. It will get down to 14° tonight and up to 27° tomorrow, but it will feel like 32°.

I know there are people out there saying “WTF Ken? That sounds pretty much perfect to me. I’d prefer heat to cold any day.” All I can say to that is “You are wrong!” When it is cold you can put on a coat, and if it gets colder, you can put on more clothes. That can really go on indefinitely and if it gets so cold that you have run out of clothes, you just stay inside, sit by the fireplace, have a warm or a cool drink (your choice) and thank all of the Gods in heaven that you don’t have to go out to work in this weather.

When it gets hot, you are limited to the amount of clothing that you can take off. The younger and good looking, you are, the more you are allowed to take off. Well, allowed is wrong, it’s more like encouraged. Those of us with a more wrinkled visage are encouraged to cover up any and all skin that might peep out. The best you can do is to sit inside, have a cool drink and thank the Gods in heaven that summer in Calgary only lasts a month or so.

It’s cool outside now, but the mosquitoes are hunting in large packs thanks to the floods and large amount of standing water throughout the city. Some people can sit inside a cloud of the little blood suckers and it doesn’t seem to bother them at all. If there is one in the house, I can’t rest until it is dead. Last year I took the time to sever the heads off of twenty mosquitoes and mounted them on pins at the doors and windows as a warning to the other mosquitoes that their kind is not welcome here.

It didn’t work, as far as I can tell there are as many of the little beggars around here as any where else. I suppose I’m not too surprised, they have very tiny heads and even tinier brains. There brains are so small they could be politicians. I am going to work on a few more tiny torture devices like the Judas Cradle, the Iron Maiden, the Pear of Anguish and the Rack to start with. I plan to be the Vlad the Impaler of Pineridge. I know it is a little twisted, but a guy’s got to have a hobby.

No comments:

Post a Comment