Wednesday 16 November 2011

Handcuffed In The Back Of A Cruiser

Today my grandson, Hurricane was handcuffed, put in the back of a police cruiser and finger printed. I might add that he was smiling the whole time. He even laughed out loud when he saw the bars on the windows in the backseat.

I tell you; those kids in the playschool have had a good week. They got to go to the fire station and use the  hose to shoot water at an orange pylon, sit in the cab of the fire truck and then watch the truck leave with the siren wailing. Today they got to check out a police cruiser, learn what 911 means and just when to use it and of course get handcuffed. Too much fun!

The fire station and truck tour I mean. I have been hand cuffed and in the back of a police cruiser and I can tell you that it isn’t the laugh a minute you might think. It might have been fun if you hadn’t just been forced to spread yourself over the hood and empty your pockets with one hand. That’s pretty difficult under the best of circumstances, but when you have been partying all night it is near impossible. No hard feelings though, the cops were just doing their job (Them and Hitler’s Storm troopers). I have nothing against the Calgary police department, but the cops in Toronto were a pain in the ass for a few years. There were some arrests, but no convictions…to date.

Next Wednesday the class is going to be visited by trainee dental hygienists. I imagine the theory is that if they damage the teeth somehow, there isn’t really a problem because they are only baby teeth. It isn’t as if they are really attached to them anyways. I can only hope that they don’t do the same bullshit that my dental hygienist does. I sit there and she is poking, prodding and picking at my teeth and gums. Eventually she will say something like “I don’t like this, your gums are bleeding. You should floss more often!”

I tell her “If you stop sticking that sharp, pointy metal thing into my gums, I bet they wouldn’t bleed at all.” I guess if you are a regular flosser, your wounds somehow, magically won’t bleed. I know that I am going to miss this class because they just might want someone with lots of blood to demonstrate on. I wish him luck.

I bet the kids would like to see an army guy in full body armour. I know I would. I wonder if the school takes suggestions.

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