Thursday, 3 November 2011

Google Phonebook

Something very strange has happened today. Well, a couple of strange things. One of them is that I spent a good deal of the day doing yard work in preparation for the snow that is threatening to fall tonight. Normally I take the attitude “out of sight out of mind”, when it comes to leaves. With a nice thick blanket of snow my yard looks positively perfect…practically. I turned over the gardens, blew the leaves off of the roof and gutters (Boy are my cheeks sore!), raked and bagged those same leaves, spread compost and put away the garden furniture. Whew! I am exhausted just writing about it. I am pretty sure that tomorrow will be a “recuperation” day.

The other strange thing that happened is that I can’t find the address book. Louise’s sister wanted Maegan’s address and phone number to arrange a visit, so I went to where I keep my phone book and it wasn’t there! It is always there! Oh well, I will just use Louise’s phone book and look for mine later. Louise’s book is missing as well. WTF! I can understand Louise misplacing her book, but I am pretty anal and always replace mine in the drawer where it lives. Of course the first thing that I did was to ask Louise what she did with the phone books. She said that she didn’t do anything with them.

This is very curious. I looked in the places that one or both of the books might be hanging out, but they weren’t there. I again asked Louise if she put the books somewhere. She said no and if I am any judge of facial expressions, that was the last time, I could ask her. She went back to work and left me searching the house for the books. Still no luck.

There is only one reasonable solution to this mystery. Someone or group of some ones have broken into the house and stolen our personal phone books. That is all it can be. I realize that there are a couple of flaws in my reasoning, but I can’t find the damned books anywhere! I guess the first problem with my hypothesis is that nothing else was taken. I have some pretty sweet electronic gadgets, some old hockey cards, tens of dollars in coins and some great tools. Why would they just take the phone books? It isn’t as if we have any famous friends or even mildly important friends. I do have a friend that can always find a parking spot close to the door of Timmy’s, but it isn’t something he can teach. I asked! Weird!

You know, another option just occurred to me. Maybe Louise is trying to drive me crazy. I have searched the garage and the shed at the side of the house, and even while I was searching, I knew I was nuts. It is the perfect caper, she just plants the seed, and I keep looking in more and more odd places, eventually drawing the attention of the authorities who would eventually put me away. Well, I didn’t play that game, at least I haven’t yet. Why would she do this to me? I guess it is kind of funny in a “let’s pull the wings off of the unicorn” way. Yeah, I know that unicorns don’t have wings. Ahh, well, the books will turn up eventually I suppose.

I found Louise’s book on the table in the kitchen tonight, the same table that I searched five times today. I guess it is possible that whoever broke into the house and stole the books in the first place, could have broken back in and replaced the one book because they had finished with it. I wonder what they wanted with it. Why do they still have mine? It could be Google starting a new thing called Google Phonebook, where you can get everyone’s number and address. Too late Google, Alexander Graham Bell beat you to it.

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