Tuesday 23 June 2015


Dreams can be odd things that can befuddle you for the rest of the day.

I was going for breakfast at Costco with my friend and his wife. He parked the car and we got out and walked across the parking lot with hundreds of others that were hopefully going in to shop and not for breakfast. When we walked through the doors, I stopped to hang my coat on one of the hooks that were there. When I turned back my friend and his wife had disappeared in the crowd. I started after them at a brisk pace, but realized that I had left my phone and wallet in my coat so I ran back to the entrance. No surprise I guess, but the coat was missing along with my wallet and phone.

I wasn’t too worried; I would just get my buddy to pay for breakfast when I found him. Pretty soon the crowd thinned and I found myself walking along a dirt trail. It was still Costco, but it seems they had done some reno since the last time I was here. I had to cross small streams and bend low to get through short tunnels and at the end of one of these tunnels was a smallish cliff. There were a couple of ladders going down, but they seemed to be pretty loosely attached at the top.

I started to climb down and just then two kids came out of the tunnel, a boy and a girl, both under ten. They were crying about having lost track of their father. Right at this moment, they looked an awful lot like Hansel and Gretel from the fairy tale. I told them that their father was probably in the store looking for them and if they followed me I should be able to get them back to the store proper. Gretel was the oldest and she took the other ladder, having no trouble at all climbing down. I had to help Hansel because he had no idea how a ladder worked, trying to climb down with his back to the ladder. I told him that he would have to turn around, but he just smiled and slid down the ladder into me.

Of course I couldn’t hold on with fat little Hansel’s weight added to mine and we fell off the ladder. Lucky for Hansel he managed to land on me. Gretel skipped up, grabbed Hansel’s hand and they both took off without even a thank you. I hope the witch cooks the little bastards!

I lay there in a mud puddle doing a checklist to make sure there were no broken bones and took the time to mull over my options. When I got up there was a short, three hundred pound guy standing there with a two day growth of beard, a cigar sticking out of his mouth, red and white striped leotards, a tutu, green top and an elf hat on top of his head. He had a handful of large candy canes and said to me “Hey bud, hold these for me will ya? Peter Pan and the two Tinkerbells got in a twist.” He shoved a hairy hand down the front of the tutu and stirred things up a little.

While I was holding the candy canes and the elf was adjusting Peter Pan, I asked him how I could get to the store. He pulled out his hand, grabbed the candy canes and pointed down the trail. “Just keep on that way and turn right at the candy cottage, ya can’t miss it. Wanna candy cane?”

“Thanks for the offer, but I am meeting a friend for breakfast and he’s buying.” The short, fat guy nodded knowingly and climbed up the ladder like a monkey.

I followed the trail and soon saw a cottage, there was smoke coming out of the chimney and muffled screams which made me smile. Karma! I finally got to the store and decided that I wasn’t hungry any more and would just go home, have a shower and watch some TV.

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