Tuesday 23 October 2012

Bad Drivers Club of Calgary.

I had a kind of a long, slow commute to work this morning, because of the snow. That isn’t really fair to the snow, sure there was snow on the roads, but not so much that traffic should have been affected like it was. The responsibility lies completely with the Bad Drivers Club of Calgary.

I don’t think there is actually a Bad Drivers Club of Calgary but then since I am not a horrible driver I guess that I wouldn’t be invited to join anyways. It kind of makes you wonder what the qualifications would be for the club. I suppose a crumpled fender/bumper/hood, windows totally covered with snow except for where the wipers had ploughed a path, or maybe once you have achieved a certain number of traffic citations you automatically become a member. Perhaps the inability to park your car between the lines in a shopping center or driving the wrong way up and down the aisles would score you that coveted position.

Whatever the qualifications for the club, I know that they must have been having a convention on the roads this morning. You would think they would pick some time in the summer to meet, or even take their cars to Vegas to cruise down the strip in all of their moronic glory. I’m not quite sure of the whys and how’s of this meeting, but it has something to do with a large triple, triple from Tim’s and for sure texting one another is involved. Kind of makes you wonder what they complain about when they get together doesn’t it.

I can see them talking about some dare devil that raced past them at 50 KPH after following behind them for twenty minutes. “He seemed to be in a hurry, but he did take the time to wave to me when he passed. Nice man!” There must be some kind of rule about not being allowed to pass one another too, because you see them travelling in pairs side by side all of the time.

I really can’t imagine why these people that are so terrified of driving in winter weather will venture out on days like today. If I were as worried about driving as they seem to be, I would take a cab to work or call in sick or even pay a co-worker that lives close to give you a lift. The worry must take ten years off of their lives. That is ten years of worry free driving for me coming up in the near future. I can hardly wait. Do I wish these people dead? Perhaps they could die quietly in their beds, but not with the sound of tearing metal and my girlish screams in their ears.

Hopefully the roads will be clearer tomorrow and the Bad Drivers Club of Calgary will have adjourned and the next meeting won’t be scheduled until the next large snowfall.

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