Milk Cartons

For most of my life I have been forgetful. Usually, I would laugh it off and say something witty like “I must be having a senior’s moment.” “Maybe I have early onset Alzheimer’s…heh…heh…heh”. Pretty funny stuff.

 

I’m not too worried about memory loss, I just figure that is the price for living longer than God intended. Lord knows there were a number of times that I dodged a potential call to heaven. Besides, in the vast scheme of things I doubt that forgetting why I went down into the basement matters that much. The same with where I put my keys/hat/phone/wallet/book/pen and a myriad of other items. I still know my name and most days I know which end of the week I am in.

What bothers me most is not being able to do things that I have done all of my life. Lately I have been having difficulty opening those paper milk cartons. I have never had trouble with them before, just for the past few months. I can’t imagine that all of the milk companies got together to make their cartons more difficult to open. Why would they do that? How would it benefit the companies?

I really can’t imagine why I am having trouble opening them either. I don’t have arthritis. Well, not so bad that I find it a problem at all. I know my fingers aren’t as strong as they used to be when I delivered mail and had to keep the mail from blowing away in heavy winds. I suppose it is possible that I have somehow forgotten just how a milk carton works. Every time I have trouble I make sure I am opening the correct side. I simply refuse to buy the cartons with plastic caps, which are like buying running shoes with Velcro instead of laces. My time is coming, but it isn’t here yet.

After giving it some serious thought, I have come to the conclusion that the milk companies are out to get the baby boomers. There can be no other reason the cartons are so hard to open.

Thankfully, I own more than a few pair of scissors.