I Hate Karma

One of the inevitable things that happen when you are a letter carrier is that you will step in dog shit. Sometimes it would be just a tiny bit that would fill a section of tread on your shoe. You wouldn’t notice it at the time, but later when you are at the depot having lunch, there would be a subtle smell that would make you start looking at the other guys, wondering just what it was they were eating.

Of course the odd time you would step into something left by a German Shepherd, Saint Bernard or a small bear. It would fill the tread on your shoe and ooze up both sides, on the rand and more than likely it would end up on your pant cuff. I would spend five minutes trying to get it off by scraping it on a curb, tree, grass and on the steps of the house where you picked it up. Hopefully they would have indoor/outdoor carpet on the steps. The smell would definitely stay with you for most of the day.

Now that I have retired and don’t walk on lawns as much as I used to, I rarely step into dog shit. I have had a few close calls when walking Buster, but luckily for me, he usually has his nose in it before I catch up. Most people are pretty good about picking up after their dogs and the ones that don’t I have managed to avoid so far.

Every now and then however I get the smell lingering about me. Of course the first thing I do is check out my shoes and from there I move outward to Louise and then Buster. Buster wouldn’t care if his feet were covered, he would probably think he’d struck the jackpot. I am pretty careful when I pick up Buster’s droppings and I always spend a time with soap and water when I get back from the walk.

Sometimes, I will smell shit while I am watching TV. Sometimes I haven’t been outside and it had been hours or days since Buster and I ventured forth. I am pretty good about washing and if I get that smell, I make sure to spend even more time with soap and hot water. Sometimes, even after washing, the smell lingers, Could there be shit in my nose? How would it get there? How do I get rid of it? I’m pretty sure that if I sprayed the hose on full strength into both nostrils the smell would disappear, but I might actually do serious damage to my brain.

It must be in my mind. Why would my mind do that? Payback for wiping my shit covered foot on that guy’s front step maybe. I hate Karma!