Sunday, 20 October 2013

Pay For It

We have had pretty wonderful weather for the past couple of months here in Calgary. Last year we had snow in mid October and unlike years past, the snow stayed on the ground for the entire winter. It was a long, long, long winter. Normally, we will have several Chinooks that will melt a good portion of the snow off of the ground and give us a taste of the warm spring weather to come.


Today while I was having a coffee and eavesdropping on a couple of guys at the next table, I heard one of them comment on what a beautiful day it was and how it’s been pretty good for quite a while. The guy he was sitting with stuck out his lower lip and gave a “Harrumph! Yeah, it’s been okay but we are going to pay for it this winter!” There isn’t much you can say to a comment like that, because the guy is obviously a grumpy prick and probably hates mushrooms because they grow in shit.

We all know people like this, who have the ability to see the negative in anything that might be pleasant or happy. The concept that some God like being is keeping track of the weather patterns that use a scale to even things up is ridiculous. Also, if there is such a being and if he or she does like balance in the natural world, then what the fuck is up with Hawaii? It’s always 29° and sunny in Hawaii. Sometimes they have clouds and the odd time it will rain, but only at night and just a little. Where is the balance there? Nope, there’s no weather God keeping track of things, we just get what we get.

I used to work with a pretty negative couple. They were both letter carriers and would drive to work together; he would drop her at the front door while he would park the car. She would come in and the first thing she would do was to look at the mail for the day and would say “Jesus, Fucking Christ! Look at the mail! I hate the weekends!” She would then go over to her case mumbling and grumbling to herself. Her husband would come in and look at the mail and he would say “Jesus, Fucking Christ! Look at the mail! I hate the weekends!” He would then walk to his case mumbling and grumbling to himself.

The next day, she would come in, look at the mail and say “Jesus, Fucking Christ! Look at the mail! There’s hardly anything! We are going to pay for this tomorrow!” She would then go over to her case mumbling and grumbling to herself. Her husband would come in and look at the mail and he would say “Jesus, Fucking Christ! Look at the mail! We’re going to pay for this tomorrow!” and then he would go to his case mumbling and grumbling to himself. A few of us would get to work early just so we could watch them come in every day and we would make bets on which one would seem to be more upset over the mail.

I don’t know how they met, whether by a dating service or chance, they are a perfect fit. What are the chances that on a world with a population of six billion, these two miserable people would find each other and not find enough to complain about each other to call off the wedding? It boggles the mind. I often wanted to ask them how they met, but I just didn’t want to commit any portion of my life listening to their answer.

Yes, it was a beautiful day today. Tomorrow and at least the rest of the week is promising to be nice weather as well. If we are lucky, the kids will be able to go Trick-of-Treating on October 31 without parkas of over their costumes.


But, we will probably pay for it…

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