That is a quote
from the first Men In Black movie, when Kay and Jay were trying to track down
the alien that had become Edgar. The alien was basically just a very large cockroach.
I’m not a big fan of large insects, fictional or otherwise, but thankfully this
was just a movie and the bug was the figment of some movie creature creators
over active imagination. It gives me the willies just thinking about it.
Today, Louise
and I decided to go to Ikea and enjoy the $1 breakfast. Eggs, sausage, and home
fries for a buck and if you get there between 9:30 and 10:00 the coffee is free. Not a bad meal and
not a bad price. I like to sit in a location where I can watch the other
diners. I’m not worried about having my back to the wall for protection, but I
like to have a good view of the people. That is the only good reason to go for
coffee. Why go out if you can’t see the people and put stories to the faces.
The stories don’t have to be true; they just have to tickle my fancy.
There were moms
with a kid or two in tow having coffee and juice waiting for the store to open.
Of course there were more than a few retired people, either alone or couples, A
group of parking lot windshield chip repair guys were having a morning meeting ,
I suppose to go over the goals for the week. I think the goal would be to
repair as many chips as you can. When they finished inside, they went out and
stood in the parking lot for ten minutes talking, I guess they were getting
that last minute pep talk.
There was an Australian
guy and his daughter who couldn’t find the sugar. I pointed him in the general
direction and watched to see if he found it all right. I wondered what their
story was. Could be that he was divorced and it was his day with his daughter.
More likely is that they were on vacation and while mom stayed where ever they
called home, dad and daughter spent some quality time at Ikea.
Just over
Louise’s shoulder I watched a person sit down. I say person because I have no
idea if it was a male or female. The clothes were loose and baggy jeans, the
hair was cut short and there was no make up. What drew my attention was that
(let’s say “she”) she had a Tim Horton’s coffee with her. She put down her tray
and I saw two large iced teas, the coffee, a breakfast and a pile of those single
serve syrup containers. She then proceeded to open and pour six of the syrups
onto her breakfast. Jeez! She ate a few mouthfuls of eggs and potatoes and must
have decided that more syrup was needed, adding three more.
When I said
that her clothes were loose it is because she was very, very thin. How do you
eat like that and stay thin. I just can’t even begin to think about how many
sugars she has in her coffee. I had to tell Louise and I told her what I had
just witnessed in my most conspiratorial voice. A minute later, I said in a
loud voice while pointing behind her, “I really like that picture of the
windmills they have on the wall over there.” She turned to look at the picture
and the syrup lady. I was pretty clever…eh? Then the syrup lady turned to look
at the wall and it was a pretty ho-hum picture of a windmill. She must have
thought I was crazy to like a shitty picture like that. The nutbar sugar addict
now thinks I am crazy! Perfect! That’s enough people watching for now. Louise
and I packed up our tray and went to look at cool Ikea stuff.
I don't suppose you know what kind of alien life form craves maple syrup, do you?
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