Sunday, 29 September 2013

Please Let Me Be Pond Scum


I got angry at a guy this morning who sped up to get in front of me, only to immediately hit his brakes and turn. There was no one behind me and I was travelling about ten KPH over the limit, so he could have easily drifted in behind me and make his turn without accelerating, applying his brakes or pissing me off. I understand that he wouldn’t care if I were angry and probably not that his brakes suffered more use than they should have or he could have saved 1/10,000 of a litre. He did what he had to do, or he wouldn’t be he.

I’m sure I do the same kind of thing and have no idea that the goofy looking four eyed bastard with a beard in the car I just passed, didn’t like the way I was driving. Unless of course the goofy looking four eyed bastard with a beard in the car I just passed happens to be an officer of the law, then there is a possibility that I will find out. There are so many instances in life when you are far more concerned with what you are doing and how you are doing it than what some stranger might think. We aren’t wired to think of others before ourselves. What’s good for me must be good for everyone…right?

I try to think of others and how my actions will affect them. I don’t write anything in the blog that I can’t explain away as my own stupidity and so far I haven’t been punched by any of my friends. So far… I will often play the music someone else likes when they are in my car. Well, not opera or hip-hop and although I do like some marching band music, I would never play it. I often will allow someone else to choose a restaurant, but that is mainly because I either don’t care or don’t know a good option. Hmmmm…maybe I am just a doormat.

Today just before that guy passed me only to turn in front of me, I was thinking of the people that I have hurt in my lifetime that I didn’t mean to hurt. There were a couple of girls that I regret the way I behaved with and although they have more than likely forgotten me, I will keep them as regrets. I just hope I don’t have to explain my actions to Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.

“It wasn’t them, it was me. But in my defence, I just didn’t think about anyone else other than myself back then. So, ignorance isn’t an acceptable excuse? Good to know, good to know. Is there any chance I can go back and get a “do-over”? So if I understand correctly, I can’t just redo the problem areas of my life, I have to live a whole other life. That doesn’t seem like a very good use of resources. Well, what exactly is a passing grade for life? Because I was good at least 50% of the time when I was awake and I didn’t get into any trouble when I was sleeping, so that’s 50% plus another 33% (assuming eight hours of sleep each night), so that adds up to 83%. That’s being conservative and I might add that 83% is A+. You can’t get much better than A+, so just open the gate and show me where I bunk.”

I have a feeling that in my next life I will come back as a lawyer, pond scum or a politician. Please let me be pond scum!

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