Thursday, 5 September 2013

DO NOT ENTER


Why is it that we humans find the above statement a challenge instead of the warning that it is. Maybe it isn’t all humans; perhaps I am the only one that can’t take NO for an answer.

I suppose that it all started back with Adam and Eve. God said “Here is a paradise for you to hang out in, enjoy with My blessing. Oh, by the way, you can do whatever you want, eat pretty much anything you can find, just stay the hell away from that tree of knowledge, and whatever you do, don’t eat the fruit! Have fun…”

What did Adam and Eve do the minute God turned his back? They tested the boundaries and ate the fruit of the tree of knowledge. I can just imagine they were hanging out and after a while they had done pretty much everything that they could do. Adam would ask Eve “What do you want to do now?” and Eve would say something like “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” If God had told them about sex, they wouldn’t have been having this conversation for a couple of years anyways. They looked around and saw the fruit. Adam gave Eve a boost so that she could grab the fruit and once she had picked it they probably ran and sat behind some wall where they couldn’t be seen.
 Apocrypha The First Book of Adam and Eve
They had no idea that God was all seeing and all knowing. That kind of makes me wonder, if God is all seeing, wouldn’t he have seen it when Adam Gave Eve the boost and said something like “HEY! DON’T TOUCH THAT FUCKING FRUIT! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU TWO? ARE YOU STUPID? ADAM, YOU GO OVER THERE AND EVE, YOU GO OVER THAT HILL AND THE TWO OF YOU CAN SIT THERE AND WHEN YOU ARE SORRY AND READY TO APPOLOGIZE YOU CAN COME BACK TO THE GARDEN.” God would then shake His head mumble something like “fucking kids” as he faded away.

If He were all knowing wouldn’t He have known what they were up to? If I knew when my kids were going to do something wrong before they did it, I would have said “HEY! DON’T TOUCH THAT FUCKING FRUIT! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU TWO? ARE YOU STUPID? ADAM, YOU GO OVER THERE AND EVE, YOU GO OVER THAT HILL AND THE TWO OF YOU CAN SIT THERE AND WHEN YOU ARE SORRY AND READY TO APPOLOGIZE YOU CAN COME BACK TO THE GARDEN.” I would then shake my head and mumble something like “fucking kids” and I would walk away.
 
I was at the airport today and there were a number of doors that said NO ADMITTANCE or AUTHORIZED PERSONEL ONLY. I had to keep saying to myself that there isn’t anything really interesting behind the doors, just a place where people work. Normally, I will try to open doors like that, but airports and the people in charge of security at the airport don’t have a sense of adventure or humour and wouldn’t understand my inquisitiveness. I also never say the word “bomb” or “terrorist” when I am flying.

I figure that if I do ever go through one of those doors at the airport, I will hear a voice over the loud speaker saying “HEY, WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? DIDN’T YOU SEE THE SIGN? ARE YOU AUTHORIZED? NO! NOW, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!”


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