Thursday, 1 October 2015

Hawaii It Is

Today we went to the cemetery to visit the final resting place of Louise's mom and dad. We took flowers of course and I spent some time clearing the accumulated dirt, leaves and other debris that has accumulated over the past few years. Although we are aware that there is no essence left there, we were still emotional. Louise due to memories of her mom and dad and I because of all the other people who have been interred here over the years.
My mom is in a wood box that is sitting on a shelf in my basement alongside the ashes of our first dog. The dog I am going to find a place for as soon as I get home, perhaps some farm where he can run all day chasing rabbits. I doubt that my mom would enjoy chasing rabbits and farms don't seem to be her style. Maybe a golf course would be a better place for her ashes to rest. I'll have a few days of highway driving to think it over and perhaps make a decision. Dad donated his body to science and I believe his ashes have been dealt with by the medical school. I should have gotten his ashes years ago, but didn't think of it. I suppose that it is possible that mom took care of him before she passed away.
I'm pretty sure that Louise would like her ashes to be spread on the ocean in Hawaii in a traditional ceremony conducted by a Hawaiian holy man in an outrigger canoe. I wouldn't have a problem going to Hawaii for that reason and I am sure the family would be behind the idea 100%. I doubt that I will be the survivor of the two of us, so that just won't be an issue. I have told Louise that I want my ashes to be put in a geode and placed on Wonder Pass overlooking Marvel Lake. This will involve either a strenuous back packing trip or a helicopter ride. You know, now that I am thinking about it, having the ashes spread on the ocean in Hawaii would be a lot more fun for everyone involved. At the very least they can get a bit of a tan while they are there and perhaps a sandwich and piece of pie at Leoda's.
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I couldn't help but wonder today about those headstones that I saw in the cemetery. For the most part they are unvisited and untended except by the ground keeping staff. I imagine that for the first decade or two the children will make a trip once or twice a year on the anniversary of the death and may even bring the grandchildren along for the visit. Life gets in the way and eventually another decade passes or two and no one visits the grave any longer. Probably within fifty years no one from the family even remembers where grandpa is interred.

The only one who even looks at the headstone is a guy waiting for his wife who wonders what Joseph Abrams 1905 - 1997 was like. It says on the headstone that he was loved as a husband, father and grandfather. Would anyone ever waste the money to say what an asshole he was? They would probably like to, but just wouldn't. I imagine that Joseph played with other kids, went to school, got a job, married, had kids and did the best that he could to be a good person until time just wore his body down and he died. The kids fought over who should get what and what kind of stone dad would have liked. They should have thought about what I would like to be reading twenty, fifty or a hundred years later. Maybe something like

Joseph Abrams
        1905 - 1997
        So, what are you doing here?
        I have to be here,
        you should go have some fun while you can
see you too soon!



Yep, Hawaii it is.



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