Monday 31 May 2021

Bleached Asshole

There will be no photos in this blog. The reasons will become obvious.

I know that I watch far too much television and in the past few years I have taken to talking to the television which I know isn’t completely normal. I pretend that I am talking to Louise, but I would and do say the same things if she is there or not.


I question the plot lines and comment that a character would never act is such and such a way, they are too nice/mean/stupid. I’m not sure if the writing has dropped to a new low or if the writers are dumbing things down for the base audience. We have to remember that a majority of Americans voted for Donald Trump in 2016 and that was incredibly stupid. There are still a lot of incredibly stupid people that firmly believe he should be back in the White House. He should be in a white jacket with wrap around sleeves and buckles in the back.


I don’t know why I can accept The Avengers in my world, but have trouble with 20 bad guys with sub machine guns missing one good guy hiding behind an open door of a cop car. Yes, any kind of bullet would rip through a car door like it was going through tissue paper. Oh, and if you happened to be shot in the upper chest, arm or leg you would be rolling around on the floor in agony, not driving a car out of a tunnel and somehow managing to take out a helicopter in flight. Iron-man could take out the helicopter with no problem.


Commercials are really stupid too. I can only imagine what my doctor would say if I said to her that I would like her to prescribe a drug I saw on TV and no, I am not worried about possible blackouts, loss of fine motor control and anal leakage just so long as I get rid of that irritating itch.


When did people get concerned about having ultra white teeth? Who would go to the effort of pasting strips of God knows what on their teeth for an hour before bed? Why? I get that a mouthful of broken, decaying teeth would be a major turn off, but if you have kept up your regular dental appointments a little yellowing and the odd piece of spinach caught between your front teeth shouldn’t be a problem. There is one tooth whitening commercial that makes me want to break every tooth in her mouth. See what you would look like with dentures!


There is one thing that I haven’t seen a commercial for, but it is only a matter of time. I have been told that this is something that people actually do and have done to them. These crazy people are having their assholes bleached! Personally I don’t want bleach anywhere near my asshole. What if you made a mistake and mixed the bleach with ammonia which makes chloramine gas which will burn your eyes, lungs, cause internal organ damage and in some cases it can be explosive. Of course you know that people who are concerned what their assholes look like generally have lots of money and they hire people to do the bleaching. I thought working at the Post Office was a shitty job.


Who gets close enough to be aware that your asshole is a lighter shade of dark than it was last week? I am of the opinion that by the time that special someone is getting up close and personal with your rectum, he/she is beyond caring about appearances. “Oops…sorry…I have to draw the line at chocolate brown. See ya never!


Well, there is TV to talk to and things to be critical of.

1 comment:

  1. Ken you had me laughing all the way through this blog, thanks buddy! B