Tuesday 14 April 2020

Haircut Part 2

It took a few months for my hair to grow back after the fiasco with the German barber. I should have given him a piece of my mind, but in those days you showed respect to your elders even if they didn’t deserve any respect. Also, he was a German and it had only been about twenty years since the end of the war and who knows what he did during the war. Judging by old photos, I am going to guess that he could have been Hitlers barber. I did know that I would never go back to him for a hair cut again. Back then I thought that it could have been my haircut which was keeping the girls away from me.

Toronto's iconic House of Lords hairdressers to close this fall ...
I guess it was another two or three months after the few months that there was a chance to do something British invasion like to my head. Lucky for me a new Unisex hair salon had just opened on Yonge St, The House of Lords. It was hip, trendy and avant guard, everything that I wasn’t and wanted to be. It was much more expensive that the German guy, but there was rock music playing and a beautiful girl washed and styled my hair. I should have known something was up when she commented on how broad my shoulders were. I wouldn’t have broad shoulders even if I put a two by four under my shirt. But, I was a teenager and she was pretty and there was loud music playing. Did I say she was pretty?
I came out of the House of Lords floating on a cloud. My hair was puffy and looked like I could have been in a band. I could hardly wait to show off my head to everyone. The next morning I had a shower and my beautiful head of puffy hair looked much like a rat’s nest. She did say something about curling it under with a blow dryer. Mom had a hair dryer that had a plastic bag that would go over your head with a tube attached that blew hot air…it didn’t work! I learned an expensive lesson that day, never trust a woman when she tells you that you are attractive or that you have broad shoulders, she is probably fishing for a tip.
Inside House of lords hair design circa !978, to this day still a ...
The good thing is that my hair was getting longer, and I just let it keep growing. Turns out I kind of liked having a ponytail. My hair stayed that way until I had to find a job in redneck Calgary. I went into a place to apply for a job and although there were plenty of people in the office, not one even looked in my direction let alone asked what I wanted. I walked out in a huff, be damned if I would work at a place like that. A few days later I had my hair cut short…ish and went back to the same counter I had stood at earlier. This time a woman smiled and asked what I wanted and shortly after filling out the application form I was interviewed and found myself head shipper/receiver for Control Lighting. Hair does make a difference, sometimes less is more.

Over the years my hair has never revisited the ponytail. Sometimes it grew longish and sometimes it was cut shortish but I had found out that I didn’t much care what my head looked like, that was other people’s problem. A number of years ago I found out that I had been getting my hair cut by a blind barber and had not really noticed. You can read about it in the blog called “I Would Prefer a Bald Barber”.

For the past few years I walk past a barber shop and if there is no one waiting I will drop in and tell them to cut my hair shorter than it is now and make me look pretty. They mostly get the shorter part right. With the advent of the Coronavirus things have changed. The barbers have shut their doors and wouldn’t you know I was due for my two to three month haircut when they did.

About thirty years ago I asked Louise if she would cut my hair. She wasn’t that keen, but we had a K-Tel razor comb and it looked pretty easy to use in the commercial. The first indication that things weren’t going so well was when Louise said “OOPS”. Oops in never a word you want to hear when getting your hair cut. Preferable to “Is this your ear?” but just marginally so. The haircut deteriorated after that and there was crying involved. I vowed never to put Louise through that again.

I own a pair of hair trimmers I got twenty-five years ago when I decided that I would save the dog groomers fees and cut my then dog Benji’s hair. Let’s just say that the dog stayed indoors for a couple of weeks out of shame and Louise and the kids told me in no uncertain terms that I was to never touch the clippers again. I still have those clippers and the corona virus seems tailor made for me to cut my own hair. I am stuck inside for a few months anyways so it will grow out by the time I see humans again. No harm, no foul.

To my surprise, the haircut went pretty well. My hair no longer bothers me, there was no “OOPS” moment, and I feel confident enough to keep it trimmed on a weekly basis. Who knows, I just may keep cutting it when I am allowed to once again venture outside in the company of human beings again.

I have pretty low standards, after all I had a blind barber for many years.

1 comment:

  1. Great story Ken, shit you always made me laugh and you did again! I'm thinking about that "60's" crew cute very soon as having hair has now become burden in later life...WTF! Brian