Thursday, 11 April 2019

Sandy Dogshit



I miss my dog.

We are on vacation and Buster has gone to live in the country where he can chase rabbits and play with other dogs. I know that it sounds as if we had him put down so that we could save on the kennel fees while we are away, but he is actually enjoying the good life on an acreage. My son’s wife’s mom and dad offered to look after Buster while we abandoned him so that we could enjoy ourselves. They also took Brendan’s dog Finnigan to keep Buster company. Also, if they have Finn as a hostage we will have to come and get Buster.

I know that I am missing him far more than he is missing me, but I attribute that to the fact that my brain is the size of a small melon and his is the size of a walnut. Sure, I only use a tiny fraction of my brain, but size does matter…probably.

Image result for melonImage result for walnut
Gord (Brendan’s father-in-law) is the type of guy that believes dogs should be allowed to run free and if they come back then you were meant to have said dog in your family. Ever since the first week Buster came to live with us and ran off, he has lived life on a short leash. I worry that at some time while we are lazing on the beach and looking for turtles and or whales, Buster may be scooped up by a large eagle and used to feed her young. That would suck for Buster. He also might be torn into tiny shards by a gang of hungry coyotes. That would suck for Buster too. 
Image result for eagle
There are stories about dogs that find themselves abandoned across the country and then in some miraculous fashion they team up with another dog and a stray cat to make it back to their master. I don’t see Buster doing that. He is more likely to find some sympathetic old lady and suck up to her to get on her lap and get his head scratched. Life would be different of course, but outside of the improvement he wouldn’t know the difference. That would suck for me.

I don’t know why I am missing him because it is my intention that he will be the last dog I have. I would prefer to outlive him of course but God works in mysterious ways. Maybe I don’t think that I am having as good a time as he is. Could I be jealous? Should I be jealous? I know that Gord and Maryanne would let me stay with them and I would be able to run through the fields whenever I chose. I might worry a little about coyotes, but Gord would let me borrow one of his rifles to protect myself. As for eagles, outside of Middle Earth there are none that could carry me away and I would more likely eat the eaglets than them eat me.
Image result for eagle from lotr

Nope. I am going to spend the next two weeks in paradise and whenever I see another person walking their dog down the beach I will be content that I don’t have to bag up sandy dogshit.

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