Take It Apart

I am really no different than 99% of the people of the planet. I’d like to think that I am unique, but the reality is I am a pretty hum-drum kind of guy. I like things the way they are and I don’t seek out adventure. Thankfully, adventure doesn’t seek me out either.

When I was young, I was inquisitive, wondering just how the world worked and why it worked the way it did. I can see the same traits in Hurricane, Tornado and Tsunami when they are trying to grasp one concept or another. Maybe grandchildren are given to us so that we can once again learn how to wonder and wonder how.

I would take almost anything apart to see what was inside. I thought that there were little actors inside of my TV set with little cows and horses, tiny cars and little houses. I was too young to understand there wasn’t room enough inside that box to keep all of the props and livestock that would have been needed for even one of my favourite shows. My fear of my dad and sense of self preservation kept me from taking the TV apart. I was mesmerized the first time a TV Repairman came to the house with his suitcase full of tools and tubes. He unplugged the set and undid the screws that held the back of the set on. I stood hiding behind my mom’s legs, watching and waiting to see if all of my favourite characters might fall out.

 

It turned out that inside of a television set didn’t house props and people, but something just as interesting. There were tubes, wires and a huge picture tube in the centre of everything. At the time I had no idea what I was seeing, but I sure did want to reach in and touch the insides. I was told in no uncertain terms that it would be very, very, very dangerous. Did that bother Hansel or Gretel? Did it stop Joe Potts from sticking his tongue on that frozen post in the schoolyard? The word DANGER has a magnetic attraction for kids. I vowed that one day I would mess around in the back of a TV.

 

Until then, I had to be satisfied with taking toys apart and broken things that I found in the garbage. Too many of these things I was unable to take apart because dad just didn’t have the right tools for the job. My brother had a nice V shaped scar from trying to get the cover off of a golf ball. It was totally worth it though, golf balls are cool inside. Well they were back in the day, today they are filled with a plastic compound of some sort which is pretty boring but they do carve well. I did eventually get inside of a TV that I found in an unofficial dump someplace. The back came off pretty easy and those tiny vacuum tubes inside weren’t as interesting as I thought. The kids I was with out-voted me and instead of taking it apart, we tossed rocks at it until the picture tube imploded. That was pretty cool, but there wasn’t much left to discover.

I still like taking things apart and it is pretty rare that I will be able to get it back together again. I have a radio downstairs and the volume control is loose and needed to be tightened. I popped off the dials and undid the screws holding the outer casing together. I needed to lift out the circuit board, three more screws and a fourth that turned out to hold an important pivot needed to tune the radio. First, fix what I just broke…done!

 

The volume control had nothing that could be adjusted to fix it, but that didn’t stop me. Now, I have a radio that can’t turn off, but I can turn the volume down so low that I can’t hear it. I wonder if it is dangerous to leave it on all of the time. You know, I think I saw a radio in the second hand store that probably works and it will be months before I feel the need to take it apart.

A Waiting Day

This has been a day of waiting…I hate waiting!

I thought that I would take my car to one of those wand wash places and get rid of most of the dirt and grim that has accumulated. It is going to snow in a day or two, but at least it will start with fresh dirt and grime. I have my favourite place of course and for two dollars it generally gives me enough time to spray soap all over the car, rinse it off and if I am really quick, maybe ten or twenty seconds of spray on wax. I really just want to get the worst off.

I figured that at ten in the morning, most clean car nuts would be hard at work earning enough money to get that spring detailing in a couple of months. Not so! All the bays were busy, so I just had to pick one that would be quick to finish. I don’t know what that idiot in the bay was doing to his car, but other cars that had come after me pulled in and then out. I thought about moving to another bay, but how long can this guy wash his car for? Seventeen minutes, and he was at it when I pulled up. It is my fervent desire that someone in a big pickup coated with mud drives in front of this guy for at least seventeen minutes. I was in and out in a couple of minutes. That’s how you do it!

I figured I earned a coffee and since I had a free coffee coming to me from McDonalds, I drove my clean and waxed car over there. I was feeling good and held the door for a lady, what the hell…ladies first. She held the inner door for me. What the hell, old farts first. I walked in and saw that there were two kiosks inside where you could order and pay for your food. The kiosks were like the ones at the airport baggage check ins. These were new to me.

I’m sure the kiosks are a wonderful idea, but you still need staff to prepare and serve the food. This particular McD’s was understaffed and that poor woman was filling a large order. I counted about ten coffees, and a few bags of muffins. The guy ordering and selecting the muffins was a Hutterite guy and a couple of Hutterite women were standing demurely at the side waiting for their coffee. I thought they made all of their own food. I didn’t think they would drink coffee. I sure as hell didn’t think I would have to wait ten minutes in a McDonalds for the Hutterite nation to coffee up!

Oh well, it would be worse, and it was. I stopped at the NOFRILLS store to pick up a pepper for supper tonight and yes, you guessed it, I had to line up. I don’t blame the store, they had all tills open and they are generally pretty good about moving the people in a timely fashion. What I don’t understand is what all of these people were doing shopping in the middle of the day when I wanted to shop.

I left the store finally and checked to see if there was a Hutterite van idling in the lot smelling like coffee or an overly clean piece of shit Toyota dripping water. It was clear sailing to get back home.