Rescue The Cats From Korea

There are an awful lot of really good causes that are trying to get a piece of the charity dollar. I’m not sure why there seem to be more now than before, but a pie can only be cut so many times, and after that it is hardly worth bringing the fork to your mouth. Last year Louise was called by the Liver foundation for a donation. She told the guy that she had just sent off a check, two weeks ago and he said that she hadn’t. Louise happened to have the checkbook handy and found the donation. The guy said “Oh, that was the Liver foundation; I am with the Children’s Liver Foundation.” Like that makes a difference. Geez, maybe if you worked together you could beat this thing.

Like I said, they are all good causes, but you can’t do everything. I saw on the news the other day that a guy brought seven dogs back from Afghanistan that had been abandoned and would have surely died if they weren’t rescued. Nice story of a caring thoughtful dog guy. When you read further, the cost of the flight to “save” these dogs was $42,000. I couldn’t help but think that $42,000 could have built some schools, dug a few wells, equipped a hospital, fed a village and generally helped the people of the area. Who knows, if the guy had given the $42,000 to a family or two they might have adopted the dogs and then the dogs wouldn’t have had to learn English. To be fair, the $42,000 was what it cost to fly the animals here. Who knows what it cost for the permits and paperwork as well.

We have our charities that we give to on a regular basis and have done so for quite a number of years. Louise is far more generous than I am, but I gladly take any praise that is directed in this general direction. So, we have our regular charities and we just say no to any other good cause that calls. Well, I don’t limit myself to “no”, where would the fun be in that? Sometimes, I tell them that I think what they are doing is fantastic and I would like to hear all about it. Then, I put the phone down and read, watch TV or check my emails. Eventually the person on the other end takes a breath and realizes that I am no longer listening, so they hang up. This method is great because it makes me smile and keeps the guy busy for a minute or so and in that minute he isn’t bothering anyone else.

I have also been known to berate then for taking a job that preys on the ignorant and stupid and ask how they can look their kids in the eyes at the end of the day. Sometimes I blow a referees whistle into the mouthpiece, or ask them if anyone that works there speaks English. That is particularly fun if the person speaks English well. A loud “NO” or “FUCK OFF” can be entertaining or just tell them that the person they are asking for recently passed away. I have tried to get a return number, but they never give it out. I guess they don’t want some asshole calling in the middle of dinner. I have even been known to be polite on occasion and just say that we aren’t interested and for them to have good luck with the rest of their calls. I will admit that the last one is pretty rare.

The thing that I don’t get is why they keep calling. I know that it is a numbers game and for every thousand numbers that you call 13 will give you money, but those figures have to apply to cold calls. I have been retired long enough to be able to recognize the charities and even the voices of the people calling. You have to be dumb as a sack of doorknobs to call the same place where a guy has told you to FUCK OFF, said no, left you talking to a dead phone, berated you for being a scum sucking bottom feeder and even on the rare occasion wished you a good day. Surely with thirty million numbers to pick from you would think I would be crossed off whatever list I am on. I could probably call and get my number put on the “Do not call list”, but where would the fun be in that.

I guess if they keep calling, I will keep messing with them, but they should know I am saving all of my money to rescue the cats from Korea.

Christmas Cards

I received a Christmas card from a friend in Ontario yesterday. It seems that she had lost my address and had to wait until she received a card from me in order to get my address. Uh-huh!

I guess that we have gotten about three or four late cards. The only problem that I have with getting Christmas cards late is that I don’t get to display them for very long or at all. To tell you the truth, I am just thrilled to get them at all. There has been a trend over the past few decades to cut down or even to eliminate sending cards altogether. When I was a boy, my mom and dad would send about 250 cards out at Christmas time and consequently would receive roughly the same amount back. God I loved those cards!

Every card was different. Some had religious themes (not my favourite), a large majority had pictures and drawings of Santa Claus (my favourite), quite a few had cartoon elves, angels, snowmen, winter scenes, drawings of a night sky with a very bright star and all of them were signed by the sender. Most of the cards had short notes wishing the best of the season and assuring us that everyone was fine. Some had longer letters included that would tell us how their family had managed to make it through yet another year. They were very magical in my mind.

No one sends that many cards anymore. Partly because of the cost of stamps and cards make it an added expense that some feel is unwarranted. Personally, I don’t think that I even know 250 people, I can barely remember the names of the few friends that I do have. Other forms of communication have replaced the Christmas card as well. When the phone rates came down a lot of people felt it was better to call and talk in person, and it is very nice. With the advent of email, skype and other electronic media, not only can we talk to the person, but in many cases we can see them as well. This is also very nice.

I still like to send cards though. I guess it makes me feel that a part of me goes with it and resides in their home for the duration of the holidays, like a kind-hearted, invisible stalker. We put our cards up on the hall wall and every time that I walk by I will look at one or the other and think of that person. Well, sometimes I catch my arm on one and swear at the person in question, but it is good hearted swearing. Sort of. I make a list of who I sent cards to and who I received cards from, not to keep track and balance the books next year, but to insure that if we missed sending one or receiving one I can make a call to see if all is well in the New Year.

Every year, Louise will write a letter to include with the card. You know the letter; it tells people of our successes throughout the year and plays down our failures. I tried writing a newsy type Christmas letter once, but shortly after the first paragraph it begins to spiral out of control and inevitably gets a little odd and sometimes more than a little weird. This year I didn’t include one in the cards that I sent. Louise wrote a letter, but it sits waiting patiently in some file in the computer labelled “Christmas Letter 2011”. I meant to send it in an email to those that I don’t see or talk to regularly, but I have yet to get around to it. I suppose I thought that writing this blog was enough. Not everyone actually reads this though and I suppose that in the next week or so I should send the letter. I might just wait and send the 2012 letter instead. Not much is really happening in my life that can’t wait a year.

The intent of this blog was to encourage people to continue to write letters and cards, not just at Christmas, but throughout the year. It is much more enjoyable to receive a letter or card than to get an email. Well, that is my opinion anyways. I still like emails, but they are so ephemeral and lately I don’t always get to all of the emails.

Next year, make sure to send a card to someone that never sends you one and see if you get one back. You just might find that you have a good friend you didn’t know about; at the very least you might make them a little uncomfortable.