HOW I HAVE WASTED MY LIFE

When I retired oh so long ago, the first six months or so just seemed to be an extended vacation and that I would eventually have to return to work.  I finally realized that I could return to some kind of work if I so chose, but so far I haven’t felt the need. 

 

I am blessed with the ability to do nothing of any import and be quite content doing so. Often in those early days of retirement my wife would return from work and ask how my day was, which I interpreted as an accusation that I did nothing all day and was a drain on our whole society. She really just wanted to know how my day went and any other interpretation was my problem. My answer was always “ Not too much, how was your day?”  However, deep down I knew that if I couldn’t think of anything that I did, then more than likely I did nothing. 

 

I started to keep a list. Anything and everything that I did during the day I made a note of. Had breakfast 15 min., drank coffee 1/2 hour, watched shitty movie 1:45, walked dog 45min., etc…etc…etc.

 

Pretty soon when Louise came home and asked what I did today I could give her a list. Not surprisingly, she wasn’t a big fan of my lists and even though I could see how I spent my time even I wasn’t impressed. I decided that I needed a creative outlet of some sort. Before retiring, I did a fair bit of wood carving, pysanky and other crafty things. I still liked crafty stuff so that would be the way to go for a fulfilling life. What to do? What to do? What to do?

 

I know, I will make a braided, rag rug.

 

It is crafty, has a link to my ancestors and could very well help keep my feet toasty during those long, cold winter days. We had an old quilted blanket that had long ago outlived it’s usefulness, so I cut it into two inch strips and started to braid three strips together. My first thought was to make an oval area rug, but very shortly it started curving like a potato chip. Okay, a round rug is even better. I undid the oval and began the round rug until it was about a foot in diameter. This is the point when someone was coming to visit so I cleaned it up by putting it under my desk. Very far under my desk. Out of sight under my desk. Out of mind under my desk.

 

I came to terms with not having a full and creative retired life and decided that telling people I just puttered around all day was good enough for them. Who are they to judge me? Bastards!

 

That was the winter of 2007 and I saw it under the desk from time to time but since it didn’t seem to mind being under the desk, I saw no reason to upset the status quo. Well, Until late last summer. I brought it out from under the desk and began working at it while I watched TV down in the basement. I needed to find another blanket and picked a blue flannel one from the second hand store which I cut into strips and braided. It didn’t take too much time, but I can see why braided rag rugs have fallen out of favour. Back in my ancestors time they didn’t have TV or really a life of any kind or central heating so a nice thick rug would be much more appreciated.

 

I finished the rug in December of 2023. Yes, it took me 16 years to make a three foot diameter rug, but it is very nice to stand on and quite pretty if I do have to say so myself. Unfortunately, we have no place for a three foot rag rug to live. I put it beside the bed in the spare room and stand on it when I look out the window at the neighbours or watch the snow fall. Sometimes I just stare out the window contemplating how I have wasted my life.

I even signed it... at the top between 12:00 and 1:00 o'clock.

 

There Will Indeed Be Weather Tomorrow

I can’t remember a time that there wasn’t a barometer in my house. It was just one of those things that was on my mom and dad’s wall that I paid no attention to at all. I don’t remember mom and dad paying any attention to it either, but to tell the truth as long as there was food on the table and the TV was working I didn’t pay attention to mom or dad either.

 

There was probably a science class at sometime when I was in school that I learned about barometric pressure, but I didn’t pay much attention to the teachers either. By the time I was born weather forecasting was something else I didn’t pay attention to. Now I find it amazing that when I was a kid the weatherman on TV managed to be so accurate without the use of weather satellites. I imaging that the newsroom would have a phone tree of sorts spanning hundreds of miles reporting the weather in Podunk Ontario and every small nothing town between there and Toronto forming a map that would enable the weatherman to tell me that I had a snow day or rain day. They probably had an impressive barometer that would help them as well.

 

For those that don’t know, a barometer measures the air pressure and any change in pressure signifies a corresponding change in the weather. It was invented around 1640 by either a Frenchman or an Italian and they are probably still arguing about it. No one really cares at all now and most people didn’t care back then. The first barometer was water filled and about 34 feet tall, and the neighbours thought it was a weapon of war so a barometer using mercury was invented to keep the neighbours happy. Now of course there are digital barometers and there are mechanical ones that make use of metal springs. I think mine must be that kind, because if it were mercury based I would have taken it apart and been playing with the mercury for a long time now. Mercury is bad by the way and should not be played with. Which makes me wonder why my teachers let us play with it. Probably because they couldn’t get their hands on enriched plutonium.

 

So, I grew up with a barometer in the house which isn’t a surprise because both sides of my family were at one time sea faring people and knowing what the weather was going to do would be very important. I guess it was one of those things everyone had in their houses back in the good old days. When my mom passed in 2000, I took the barometer along with the trivet that said “NO MATTER WHERE I SERVE MY GUESTS IT SEEMS THEY LIKE MY KITCHEN BEST” The Trivet is in the basement and the barometer is on a wall in the kitchen and was pretty much ignored until the COVID epidemic. I guess one day while not doing anything I noticed it on the wall and thought that I should keep a daily record of the changes in barometric pressure in my kitchen. I kept a record for three or four months and then realized I just didn’t really care that much since I had the weather girl to tell me what to expect weather wise and she is much better to look at than the barometer.

 

Strangely enough, now every morning when I am making my coffee I look at the barometer and reset it so that I can see if there will indeed be weather tomorrow. It is kind of fun to see it move from day to day and although I don’t care that much about the weather since I am retired, it is however, something to do while I wait for my coffee.