PICTURE THAT

 Toronto Trip September 2022

We are driving to visit Maegan and Ryan in their new house. It has been quite a while since we have been in Ontario and are looking forward to seeing Maegan in her natural habitat. 

I remember when the kids were young and my mom and dad came out west to visit us. They were always welcome of course but there was always some stress. Anytime that more than two adults shave a home the dynamics get very complicated. I missed my parents and couldn’t figure out why they visited so seldom. I mean, it was much easier for them to come to us than for us to load up the kids and travel to them. Now I understand.

I have become the age they were and find that my world has condensed and continues to shrink. I suppose that my world will eventually consist of memories and pain control. I am very comfortable in the world I have created and resist change. At home I don’t have change, but travelling is change by its very definition. I don’t particularly enjoy driving and paying hundreds of dollars for gas and lodging over days just seems crazy. However, this trip is the right thing to do and I am trying to enjoy it.

We just drove thru Winnipeg for the first time in fifty years and I now remember that fifty years hasn’t been nearly long enough. The only plus is that it isn’t winter or mosquito season, meaning that I have managed to hit a two week window.

Also for the first time in fifty years we are driving the trip entirely within Canada. Our last trip left  a bad taste in our mouths and the rest of our bodies. Yes, it is a very beautiful country but it is also a very large beautiful country. I wish I could say that we have gotten the worst of the trip done, but that would be a lie. The worst (and most beautiful) begins tomorrow and carries on for the next two and a half days. 

I am excited by the possibilities the trip will bring me.

Oh, I have somehow forgotten to bring my two camera battery chargers so there will come a time when that perfect photo presents itself and I will be holding a dead camera. Thankfully, I do have my cell phone camera and Louise did remember to bring her charging cables.

Picture that.

Bob The Asshole's Daughter and Her Satan’s Spawn

This morning my daughter had to get out of her house so that the cleaners could do their job without two active boys and an active ++++ German Shepard year old puppy getting underfoot. Makes sense. Arwen and her hubby had to get out too which meant that we had a wonderful visit. We sat and chatted for a while and enjoyed the overly hot weather. We are having the warmest summer that I can remember. I will grant that my memory is slipping and I complain more than I ever did before, but it has been hot.

 

Lately I have been thinking that I should show Hurricane and Tornado how to erect a tent so that when they are camping with their buddies or girlfriends they aren’t the donks that have no idea how to set up a tent. I should take them camping, but somehow I don’t think that will ever happen. It wouldn’t be fair to the wild animals. They did pretty good and for the most part paid attention and should be able to think thru whatever tent they need to put up. Mind you, now they probably have holographic tents that come out of a gameboy, playstation or cell phone.

 

When they left to go to hockey camp and whatever else they needed to do today, Louise and I went to do some shopping and to buy a ticket on a dream…again!

 

I brought the first load of groceries in and on the second load I noticed that one of the two tents we put up (yes, I have five or six tents) was missing. WTF????

 

Who steals a tent? Why steal a tent, a really good tent is only a couple hundred bucks and not thirty or forty years old. Needless to say I was pissed off and disheartened by how our society has turned into liquid shit. While I was disassembling the other tent I noticed that the missing tent was no longer missing, but in the neighbours back yard. I climbed over the fence and fetched my property back.

 

A little background here. The house next door was bought at the height of a real estate boom for just over $400,000. If that house is worth $340,000 I would be surprised. It was bought by Bob the Asshole and his wife. I have written a couple of blogs about them, “Bob The Asshole” and ”Bob The Assholes Wife” which should give some needed background. Bob the asshole is no longer around, either he died or she kicked his ass to the curb, of the two I would prefer the first choice. Anyways, when Covid hit, Bob the Asshole’s daughter and her two demon spawn teenagers moved in with Bob the Assholes wife. I thought that hair growing around my nipples was stupid and useless, but if these kids far outstrip any unwanted pubic hair.

 

Really, really, really fucking lazy. They do nothing winter or summer. The oldest kid (19) thinks he has what it takes to make millions of dollars playing video games on Youtube. He couldn’t fart a nickel if you shoved ten bucks up his ass. The younger waste of flesh wants to be just like his big brother, but I am not sure he has what it takes.

 

So, I think it was one or both of these geniuses that tried to steal my tent, but I am not going to rule out Bob the Assholes daughter, I think she takes after her dad. Shame she didn’t get kicked to the curb or choice number one. Grandma was innocent because she was at work. Did I mention that the 73 year old grandma is the only one that works in the house?

 

Well, I feel better now.

 

Normally I trim the hedge between our houses (her hedge) but now it will only be my side and the top. They won’t care because they are all assholes. When winter comes and I am pretty sure it will come again I will no longer shovel the snow to their steps to make it easy for them to get to their trucks in the morning. But, they won’t care because they are assholes. My idea of getting even is stupid. It makes no sense talking to them because THEY ARE STUPID ASSHOLES!