Unsolicited Advice (Part One)

A week or so ago, my daughter registered Hurricane for Kindergarten. It is hard to believe that he will be going to a real school, meeting real friends of his own and making decisions by himself. Oh, I know that he won’t be doing this all at once, but he has begun sliding down that slippery slope. I hope that he does better than I did. I am sure that he will, but you always hope that life goes easy on him and he has the strength to stand up to the challenges that are sure to come his way.

While I was walking the dog today I was thinking what kind of advice I would give him about the world that is soon to be opening up for him. I guess I would be looking at the things in my life that I would tweak given the information that I now possess.

Never slide down anything head first! Your feet and legs can take a lot more punishment that the head and neck.

Now that you have started to read, never stop. Books, the paper or digital kind will always be there for you. They teach you, make you laugh, make you cry and make you the person that you will eventually become.

This won’t apply for a few years, but NEVER play cards or pool with someone named after a city, province or state.

Make sure that you treat your mom and dad with respect, even if you don’t think they deserve it. They are the ones that will always love you.

Never let anyone tell you who you should be. It is really hard, but if you listen to that tiny voice in your head you can’t really go wrong. Well, unless it tells you to kill everyone.

Believe in something bigger than yourself, otherwise none of this makes any sense.

Always wear a seat belt.

Try to put away 10% of everything you make. It is easier if you start and never stop.

If clothing or shoes aren’t comfortable when you buy them, they never will be.

Food shouldn’t EVER look at you from the plate.

Get just enough sleep. Too much makes you fuzzy and too little makes you thick.

Always wear underwear! There will be times that you will lose your pants and underwear will provide you with some dignity.

Listen twice as much as you talk. At least!

Never trust a fart.

 

Don’t waste too much time watching TV

Learn something about auto repair.

A dog is a simple creature that gives you unconditional love and commitment. Don’t own one until you can return unconditional love and commitment.

A woman is a complex creature capable of unconditional love and commitment. Don’t let one own you until you can return unconditional love and commitment.

Find a hobby while you are young. That way you just might get good at it before you get old.

Be your own best friend.

Try not to let birds shit on you. It may be lucky, but I have yet to see that proven.

Learn to play a musical instrument. Well, not the accordion!

 

Remember that “Poppa” loves you.

The Truth Will Set You Free

I was reminded about some friends that Louise and I had back when the kids were still very small. Louise thinks his name was Tim and since we can’t remember her name, we will call her Cathy. They had a baby who will be known as “Baby”.

We lived in a small town called Black Diamond and became pretty good friends with this couple; probably because we both had small children. Tim and Cathy were the kind of people that would buy a “fixer upper” house pretty cheap and then do a lot of cosmetic and sometimes not so cosmetic renovations to the house and sell it. Needless to say, they were pretty handy. I think that they had done this a couple of times before, and every time they sold a house they would have a little more for a down payment on the next one. I remember one time when Cathy was over for tea and said that Tim had done the tiling in the kitchen on the back splash and counter top the night before. He told her that since he had done the hard work, she could do the grouting while he was at work. I started to laugh because the grouting is the hardest part in my mind. I think she was going to have a chat later on when he got home.

They were doing the repairs on the house and found that they would have to replace all of the plumbing or all of the electrical, I can’t remember which. It was going to be a very expensive fix though. Two days later, the house caught fire in the middle of the night and Tim, Cathy and the baby had to run through the flames to get out of the house. They lost everything! Well, I guess the insurance policy wasn’t lost. It turned out that having the house burn down was pretty profitable. They got all new furniture, clothing, tools and a pretty big settlement from the insurance company. They moved away shortly after that to Ontario, but we kept in touch through letters.

Just a year or so later, we decided to move back to Ontario and put the house up for sale. I had to move out first for work and Louise sold the house, packed everything up and looked after the kids and the move. I am still paying for that, or at least I should be. One weekend I went to visit Tim and Cathy at their place in Ontario. They were doing the same thing out here, not burning the place down for insurance, but fixing it up to flip it. I called Louise that night and told her about my visit and how Tim and Cathy had bought another shit box of a house and were working on the renovations. I really envied them the ability to do that and how nice it will be to renew our friendship. I guess Louise told someone else, and it got back to Tim and Cathy that I thought their house was a shit box. It was! However, I knew that in a few months it would be beautiful. They never talked to us again and we found out from other friends that they were really offended.

I feel bad about that to this day and wish that I could explain what I meant. I am pretty cautious about what I say about people and their homes now, because you just never know how touchy they will be. I have lost other friends over the years because I told the truth when asked something. I am now pretty careful to just say the “truth” that people want to hear. The truth may set you free, but it is free from the burden of too many friends.